TrifectaLy Travel Tips

When I saw this deck of cards about travel tips in the book store, I had an incredible cheesy idea - almost like a count down to the big trip - to post a tip a day. I weeded out all of the ones that don't apply to our trip and I came up with the top 17 tips. The plan is to post one a day until the fateful day when Pooh will drive up from Jersey to Mass, show up on my doorstep and the journey will begin. :P All credit - except my and the fellow fectas witty comments - goes to Lynn Gordon and Chronicle Books.

I own nothing. Der.

August 30, 2001 - 'Road Tripping'

"People often fantasize about taking a road trip a la Easy Rider. To keep yourself safe on your adventure, don't pick up hitchhikers (only nekkid HA's) or leave valuables in plan view and always carry a spare tire and roadside emergency kit. (Got that Eeys?) For customized maps check out www.mapquest.com. When reserving a rental car, specify automatic or manual transmission. Always read your rental agreement and make sure the car is covered for collision and liability through an existing insurance policy or credit card company. If you'll be driving abroad (no we were actually planning on leaving HA's tramp in Wilmington), contact AAA (Abs and Ass Abduction) to see if your driver's license will be valid. If not, AAA can provide an international license for a small fee. Once abroad, learn all unfamiliar road signs and be especially aware when driving on the left side of the road."


August 29, 2001 - 'Know Your Rights'

"Travelers are often taken advantage of because they are unfamiliar with local laws and customs. (Is it really illegal if you and your online friends whom you have never met take a road trip to Wilmington, NC with the soul purpose of stalking/hunting down a Hotass???) Researching the areas where you will be traveling and reading fine print can help prevent this. Do you know what an airline must pay you if they lose your luggage? Who is responsible if your hotel is overbooked or something is stolen from your room? (Which is entirely possible considering nekkid Hotass's are such hot commodities on the black market.) Did you know that if your flight is delayed for a reason other than weather or air traffic problems, your airline is required to book you on the next available flight, even on a competing airline? If you run into any legal trouble, contact your local embassy."


August 28, 2001 - 'Travel Buddy'

"Not only is it fun to travel with someone who can share your adventure, it can be safer and less expensive than traveling alone. However, there are also pitfalls when traveling with a companion (who you meet for the first time on the 12 hour and 45 minute bus ride down to Charleston, WV): you can lose track of each other (during the 25 minute layover in Baltimore when Meg runs off to Fells Point to take pictures of where they used to film 'The Best Damn Show On Television' - Homicide: Life On The Streets), have different ideas on what you want to do (stalk nekkid HA first or nekkid Josh & Shumba?), and basically drive each other nuts. When planning a trip together, make sure you and your companion have similar traveling styles, and are interested in similar activities (i.e. - nekkid HA). Because traveling can be intense, give each other space. It is a good idea to spend time apart. Always pick meeting spots and times in case you are separated. (HA's room - 10pm sharp!)"


August 27, 2001 - 'Penny Wise'

"Nobody likes to think about scrimping while traveling, but it is preferable to being flat broke in a foreign land (I.E. - Wilmington, North Carolina.) When planning your trip, make a budget that includes food, hotels, entertainment (nekkid HA), transportation, money exchange fees, gifts, and souvenirs (nekkid HA), and then bring an additional 10 percent. If you do run out of cash, you have a few options. You may find an ATM machine where you can withdraw currency at the wholesale exchange rate. Not every establishment accepts credit cards, but when using them you can get cash (to stuff in HA's boxers) advances, avoid fees, and often get a better exchange rate. Having a generous friend or family member wire money to a local back takes time and is expensive. The final (and probably worst case) scenario is to fly home standby on an earlier flight."